How to support neurodivergent children

Caring for a neurodivergent child comes with unique challenges and rewards. Each child experiences the world uniquely; understanding their needs helps parents build a supportive environment that fosters growth, confidence, and overall wellbeing.

This guide is for parents and carers of children with a diagnosis of ADHD, Autism Spectrum Conditions (ASC), dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia or dysgraphia. It offers practical, compassionate strategies to help you better understand your child, support their daily experiences, and celebrate their strengths.

Whether you’re at the start of your journey or looking to build on what you already know, the tools and examples here aim to empower you and your child to thrive - together.

• Understanding & Acceptance
• Educate yourself about neurodiversity to understand how your child experiences the world in their unique way. Their formal assessment report will provide lots of useful information. You can then support your child to make sense of what the diagnosis means for their daily life.
• Understand and accept your child’s strengths and challenges without trying to "fix" them. Your child will have distinct strengths and positive qualities. Every neurodiverse child is unique, but commonly reported strengths include:
• exceptional attention to detail
• creativity and unique thinking
• strong memory for certain information
• high energy and enthusiasm
• spontaneity and courage



By focusing on your child’s abilities, you can nurture their strengths and support them to flourish .

• Focus on inclusion. How could you support your child to try a new activity, or participate where they lack confidence? For example, a child with dyspraxia may benefit from breaking activities into smaller chunks. Then, they can build up gradually or focus on an activity they can practice individually, such as swimming or running. Over time, this will help build their confidence.
• Neurodivergent behaviours that adults perceive as challenging may have a purpose. For example, repetitive movements such as spinning in circles, or repeating tasks over and again, may help children with autism to regulate emotion or ease anxiety. Similarly, a child with dyslexia who avoids reading aloud may be managing fear of embarrassment—offering alternatives can reduce stress and build confidence.


• Routine & Structure
• Consistent routines can be beneficial. Predictability reduces anxiety and helps with focus and behaviour regulation.
• Use visual schedules such as pictures, charts, or apps to show what’s happening next.
• Set small goals and track progress (e.g. Goal: Get ready for school in the morning with less stress. Break down the goal into micro-steps such as get out of bed, brush your teeth etc.). Use a visual schedule or checklist to track these steps. It can be useful to focus on one task at a time, as tackling too many steps or tasks at once could feel overwhelming.
• For children with dysgraphia or ADHD, it can help to incorporate checklists with icons, or audio reminders instead of relying only on written instructions.
• Consistency is really important - focus on one goal and work on this routinely on a daily basis until you see progress.
• Remember to be patient, putting new changes into practice can take time.


• Communication
• Break tasks into small steps and keep language straightforward.
• Some children respond better to visual prompts or gestures, especially with ASC.
• Speak to your child’s school to understand what support they provide and how you can continue this outside of school to ensure consistency, for example:
• Coloured overlays or audiobooks for children with dyslexia
• Number lines or manipulatives for children with dyscalculia
• Speech-to-text tools for children with dysgraphia
• Focus on positive reinforcement and praise for positive behaviours and accomplishments.


• Emotional Support
• Validate their feelings - it’s ok to feel frustrated, anxious or overwhelmed.
• Support your child to understand different emotions using emotion wheels and by discussing the feelings we all can experience and what they might be trying to tell us.
• It can be helpful to identify emotional triggers and patterns over time. Try and notice what happened before the emotion and what helped or made it worse.


• Supportive Home Environment
• Reduce distractions especially for young people with ADHD - create quiet, clutter-free zones to support focus.
• Sensory-friendly spaces: For ASC, make sure there is a place to go when overstimulated (dim lighting, soft textures, etc.). It can be useful to learn about your child’s sensory needs - meeting these needs can help to regulate their emotions.
• For children with dysgraphia, offer a quiet, comfortable writing space with pencil grips or typing tools. For dyscalculia, use hands-on learning tools like counting blocks or measuring cups (for example, when baking) to make learning more engaging.


• Ensure You Seek Your Own Support
• Seeking support is crucial for your wellbeing and your child's. Connecting with other parents of neurodivergent children can provide valuable emotional support, shared experiences, and practical advice. Many organisations offer online and in-person groups (see below).
• Don't hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. Being open about your challenges and seeking support can significantly reduce stress and improve your ability to cope.
• Remember to take care of your own mental and physical health. This may involve seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, and getting enough rest and exercise.



References

Mind. (2022). ADHD and mental health. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/adhd-and-mental-health/

Gaus, V. (2011). Living well on the spectrum: How to use your strengths to meet the challenges of Asperger syndrome/High-functioning autism. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – Symptoms / Living with. https://www.nhs.uk/

Kerns, C. M., et al. (2015). Anxiety in youth with autism spectrum disorder. Clinical Psychology Review, 40, 40–54.

Mental Health Foundation. (2022). Autism and mental health. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/autism-and-mental-health

This article is provided by Helloself, an online psychological therapy practice providing clinically proven therapies to adults and young people