Teenage mental wellbeing
Our latest research has found that four out of five teenagers reported symptoms of poor mental health*. We’re here to help.
Perhaps you’re concerned about a teenager’s state of mind, or you’re a teenager or parent needing support yourself. Everyone’s welcome to the information and advice we offer here.
Normal is different for all of us
Everyone’s teenage experience is different, but it can be a challenging time. It’s when we explore our identities and try to imagine our futures. There are often stresses with exams, relationships, friends, family and even bullying. Then there’s the pandemic. And for teenagers, emotions can feel particularly intense.
On this page, we’ve gathered together lots of information to help both teenagers and those who care about them. There are videos, infographics, and articles offering advice from our experts.
Why should we all be concerned about teenage mental health?
Now more than ever, because of COVID-19, we need to ensure that young people feel healthy, confident and valued, and that they know their lives have purpose. But here’s what our 2020 research revealed*:
4.1 million
young people have had symptoms of poor mental health during the pandemic
76%
of teenagers said lockdown worsened their mental health and caused physical symptoms
52%
of teenagers have turned to harmful coping mechanisms as a result of the pandemic
57%
of teens don’t feel optimistic about their future or feel they don’t know what it holds
Teenage coping mechanisms during lockdown: experts and famous faces tell it how it is
We invited Nikki Lilly and Sophie Ellis-Bextor to talk to psychologist Dr Lucy Foulkes and Bupa’s Clinical Director for Mental Health, Dr Pablo Vandenbeele.
In this video, they discuss the ways young people reacted to lockdown and the positive and negative coping mechanisms they used.
Hello, I'm Sophie Ellis-Bextor and I'm best known for being a singer songwriter but I'm also mother to five boys including a teenager.
So I was really excited to team up with health insurers Bupa to find out about the specific challenges that have been faced by
teenagers during this last nine months and also how parents like me can help support our teenagers so they get back to their version of normal.
Well, now I'm lucky enough to be talking to Nikki Lilly who has come here to be a voice of a generation really.
Nikki is sixteen and I want to find out from her: how do you think you and your friends have found it?
And has it been peaceful, has it been momentous, has it been scary?
It was definitely scary at the beginning because there was so much uncertainty and I think probably everyone felt the same way.
Me and my friends would do Zoom calls and it really helped us having a group chat where we could all speak
together because it felt like a proper support group almost.
A lot of my generation have grown up this year I feel like, because of everything going on.
But I also think we've grown up in a lot of ways with, you know, our perspective on lots of different situations.
The little things, the importance of living in the moment and not worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow
and just making the most of what you have and who you have in your life.
But I think it's with, you know, parents if they can just really try their best to basically communicate to their kids that
they are there for them and they do have time for them. But even when they feel like their kids are doing OK, it's just instilling
that idea in them, so when they are struggling, in the back of their head they know that you know, "My mum or my dad or
my guardian does have time for me, I can go to them." Instead of kind of thinking, "They're stressed I'm not going to stress
them out anymore, I'm not going to burden them with how I'm feeling, how I'm feeling doesn't matter", because it does.
So I'm joined by Dr Lucy Foulkes who is a teen psychologist. Lucy, I wanted to talk to you about the effect of the pandemic
in particular, what it feels like when you've missed out on these really big milestones, that usually happen during your teenage years? A year or six months for a teenager is a lot longer than a year or six months for an adult and so much happens in those
months that it's not just a case of: "Oh we'll just do it again next year". Leaving school or starting university,
obviously they have been able to do a version of those things, but not the version they might have wanted.
And also, I didn't realise what's happening neurologically. How that side of things works for your teenage years.
Adolescence is such a period of change, so it's a period of change on the outside world
and it's a period of change in terms of your hormones and your brain development. And a lot of what we might
previously have just put down to hormones, even though hormones are still important, are actually the kind of
teenage typical behaviours. Like mood swings or peer pressure or risk-taking actually can be partly explained by what's happening in the brain.
Being a teenager is really hard. Raising a teenager is really hard.
We know that development continues right through the teenage years and well into the twenties and sometimes even the thirties.
Obviously this pandemic has been an exceptional and unusual source of stress, but throughout life there's going to be
periods of stress and difficulty in all different shapes and sizes. And for someone to ask you how you are and to
not have expectations of how you are supposed to be feeling or not try and fix it; it's very tempting to jump in with solutions
when actually a lot of the time we just want space to talk about what's happening and to have those experiences and those feelings validated and recognised.
So, now I'm going to be talking to Pablo Vandenabeele who is a Psychiatrist and Clinical Director for Mental Health at Bupa.
How as a parent can you tell the difference between normal teenage behaviour and when it's actually something you should be a bit more concerned about?
When we think about the psychological symptoms, we're kind of thinking about
a lowering in mood, more irritability, loss of interest, social withdrawal, those kind of things.
When we think about the more biological symptoms, we're kind of thinking sleep disturbance, changes in appetite
a lot of the time loss in appetite, poor concentration and of course a lot of that can well be part of a normal teenager's
behaviour, but if it becomes persistent, if it sort of goes on day after day after day into weeks on end, then I think it might be
something more than just "teenager behaviour".
If you are worried, let's say your young person says that they're feeling really very low, what can you do next?
Where can you turn for help?
Like with anything in health, the quicker you treat something or the quicker you address something the better the prognosis is likely to be. Now, GPs are often a very good first port of call and they're very familiar about mental health and mental wellbeing.
But there's also an awful lot of good information available online for example and I know that on the Bupa website there's a Mental Health Hub.
You know, if you are feeling depressed and it's in response to a big event, like what we've had this year, it can presumably
be a little bit difficult sometimes to unpick the emotions that are just the normal response?
Covid restrictions and all that, it can be understandable why someone is feeling low and so forth, but that still can
progress to somebody becoming depressed so the mere fact that you can pinpoint, "This is what caused it"
doesn't mean that you don't have the condition.
Mental health affects us all in so many different ways and we're only really just starting to understand how this pandemic
has affected our own mental wellbeing. That first conversation is the first and small step to getting a child the help
and support that they need and there is support out there for you too. If you head to Bupa you can see lots of material online
to help you and also the mental health charity, Mind, has got lots of support. So don't worry, you're doing the right thing,
trust your instincts, have that conversation and help is at hand.
Nikki Lilly
Nikki Lilly is a social media star, charity campaigner, television presenter, author, and the youngest-ever winner of the BAFTA Special Award. She regularly talks about mental health on social media, and has won the Child Of Courage award for her work.
Sophie Ellis Bextor
Sophie Ellis Bextor is an English singer, songwriter, model and presenter. The mother of five children, she has long been an advocate for mental health. She contributed a track to the Samaritans' fundraising album, Songs To Save A Life.
Dr Lucy Foulkes
Dr Lucy Foulkes is an honorary lecturer in psychology at UCL, specialising in teenage development. She has written for the Guardian and The Conversation and has appeared on TV programmes about mental illness. Her book Losing Our Minds will be published in 2021.
A teenager’s mental health can cause physical and behavioural symptoms
Here’s what to look out for.
From the research we commissioned into teenage mental health in 2020, psychologist Dr Lucy Foulkes explores how teenagers reacted positively and negatively to the pandemic. She offers her expert tips for when parents should be concerned about their teenager.
Download full infographic
Expert guidance on teenage mental health
How to have HUMAN conversations about teenage mental health
We’re all getting a little better at understanding mental health and knowing how to spot potential problems, but starting a conversation with your teenager about their mental health isn’t always easy.
But with the right words, you can help to build trust and understanding, find solutions and build resilience. Sometimes these conversations bring the realisation that a teenager needs support from someone outside the family.
Expert guidance on teenage mental health
Help in understanding the teenage brain
Although the brain stops growing long before adolescence, it’s still changing. For example, messages travel more quickly within a teenage brain compared to an adult brain.
Decision-making eventually shifts to the more logical, reasoning parts of the brain, but for teenagers decision-making is led by those parts associated with emotional responses and quick decisions.
This can make them vulnerable to mental illness. Extreme distress (for example, triggered by the pandemic) can lock in processing patterns and affect how teenagers manage stress in future.
Parents: How do you know when to act?
It’s not always easy to spot when natural feelings like being a bit anxious or sad tip over into something to be concerned about. In other words, the difference between negative emotions and a mental health problem. Bupa mental health nurse Caroline Harper suggests that if you’re worried about your teenager, you could ask yourself:
- How long has it been going on for?
- Is it serious enough to get in the way of normal life?
- Is it affecting their relationships?
- Are there any worrying physical symptoms?
- Does anything make them feel better, like distraction or exercise?
If you’re still concerned, this page could help you start a ‘HUMAN’ conversation (see above), or point you to charities that could help.
Loneliness and isolation in teenagers
There are lots of reasons why a teenager might feel lonely. For example, changing schools, not getting picked for teams, struggling to fit in, relationship problems, bullying and lockdown.
On the other hand, it can be really positive to spend time alone. But how does a parent know when it’s too much? This video guide could help you to spot the signs of teenage isolation, have a supportive conversation, and find some solutions.
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - [Narrator] Teenage years are a tricky time
00:04 and identifying if something is wrong can be difficult.
00:09 If you're child is spending a lot of time alone,
00:11 it's natural to wonder if this is okay,
00:14 a passing phase or if it's something
00:16 that you should be concerned about.
00:18 Some things that may cause loneliness and isolation
00:21 could be screen-based activities.
00:24 These play a big part in our children's lives.
00:27 There are lots of positives linked to watching TV,
00:30 gaming or using social media to connect with friends.
00:34 But it's been estimated that screen time
00:36 can vary between two to eight hours a day for young people
00:39 and they may continually compare
00:41 themselves to others online,
00:43 which can lead to feelings of isolation.
00:45 Changing schools, moving from primary to secondary school,
00:49 often college up to university,
00:52 feeling misunderstood and having a sense
00:54 of not fitting in even when surround by people,
00:59 being left out, sports or academic teams,
01:02 changes to their mental health or well-being
01:04 or managing a mental health condition,
01:07 living with a long-term condition
01:09 or disability, being bullied.
01:13 How do you know if your teenager is lonely?
01:16 It's important to recognize that young people don't
01:18 have to be socializing all the time
01:21 and value time on their own.
01:23 But they can be good at hiding how they feel,
01:26 so it might not be easy to spot clear signs of loneliness.
01:30 Some signs that your child might be feeling
01:32 lonely and isolated include developing low self-esteem
01:36 and losing confidence in themselves and their abilities,
01:39 being sad, withdrawn and pulling away from others,
01:43 getting angry and upset, not wanting to try
01:47 or do new hobbies or social activities
01:50 or drinking and smoking in a bid to feel accepted.
01:54 Tips for talking to your teen.
01:57 Take the lead if you feel that something is wrong.
01:59 A gentle nudge might help them to open up.
02:02 Show your child that they can lean on you for support.
02:06 It can be distressing hearing your child is struggling,
02:09 but it's important to keep calm,
02:11 listen and be understanding.
02:14 Set up a safe space where you'll be able
02:16 to have a conversation such as on a walk
02:19 or at home when no one else is around.
02:22 Bear in mind, that the evening might not
02:23 be the best time, if you and your child are tired.
02:27 Natural conversation starters might arise.
02:30 For example, if you're watching TV together
02:32 and something relevant comes up.
02:34 Perhaps ask their advice about a problem
02:37 a friend is dealing with or if it feels right,
02:40 suggest you'd like to talk to them about something directly.
02:43 If your child is defensive, unreceptive or clams up,
02:47take a break, but return to it again in few days time.
02:51 You might find that they come to you
02:52when they feel ready to talk.
02:55 A conversation is a two-way thing.
02:57 And listening to your teen is important.
03:00 Encourage them to ask questions
03:02 and share some of your experiences
03:04 to show that you understand.
03:06 Try and ask questions that require more
03:08 than a yes or no answer.
03:11 There might not be a simple way to help,
03:13 but just making sure they know they can trust you,
03:16 that you're always there for them
03:17 and that you love and care will help them feel supported.
03:21(upbeat music)
Free mental health resources for anyone aged 11-25
If you're having a tough time or struggling with your feelings, you can find support in the young people’s section of the Mind website. Mind is the UK’s leading mental health charity, and these resources were funded by the Bupa Foundation.
Concerns about eating disorders in teenagers have grown during the pandemic
Our research shows that more people are now looking for support with eating disorders, including teenagers and worried parents. The pandemic has been stressful, but eating more, or controlling food intake, can be an unhelpful coping mechanism.
If you’re concerned, our experts offer information, advice and guidance about eating disorders in young people.
Find Bupa-recognised mental health professionals near you
Our Finder tool lets you browse the directory of Bupa-recognised consultants, psychologists, therapists, counsellors and other professionals.
You don’t need to be a Bupa health insurance customer to see them, just make your own appointment and pay independently.
If you’re in a crisis or just need some help, don’t hesitate. Here are some really helpful organisations that you can turn to for support.
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is the UK's leading charity for young people's mental health. They offer free 24/7 support, so just text them if you need urgent help. Texts are answered by trained volunteers backed by experienced clinical supervisors.
Text YM to 85258
Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.
Childline
Childline will help anyone under 19 in the UK, and they can talk about anything you’re going through.
They offer free, confidential support from a counsellor, and calls to their helpline won’t show up on your household phone bill. Or you can send a message via their website.
Call free 7:30am-3:30am every day
0800 1111
PAPYRUS
PAPYRUS is a UK charity for the prevention of suicide in the under 35s. They offer confidential support and advice for any teenager or young person struggling with thoughts of suicide, or anyone who’s worried about them.
Call free 9am-midnight every day
0800 068 4141
Family Lives
Family Lives offers emotional support, information, advice and guidance on any aspect of parenting and family life. A helpful resource for anyone concerned about the mental wellbeing of a teenager, especially in a crisis.
Call free, Monday-Friday 9am-9pm or weekends 10am to 3pm.
Bank holiday times may vary.
0808 800 2222
stem4
stem4 provide free mental health resources and apps for young people, friends and parents. They focus on building resilience so teenagers can cope better with the risks and symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression. There are also resources for self-harm, addiction and eating disorders.
Samaritans
The Samaritans are there to listen and support, and they won’t judge you or tell you what to do. Calls to their helpline are free and confidential, and you don’t need to have credit on your mobile. You can also email them or pop into your local branch. They’re there for under-18s as well as adults.
Call free, 24/7, any day of the year
116 123
Mind
Mind is a charity dedicated to mental health. They exist to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone. They’ll listen to you and offer support and advice, and have dedicated resources available to support 11-25 year olds.
0300 123 3393^
^Lines open 9am – 6pm, Monday to Friday except for bank holidays.
Advice, tips and support on teenage mental health from Bupa’s experts
These articles have been selected from our Healthy Me wellbeing platform, where there are lots more articles about mental health.
Teenage mental health support as part of Bupa health insurance
I’m already a Bupa health insurance customer
If you have mental health cover as part of your Bupa health insurance, we can refer your teenager to a consultant or therapist, and they may not even have to see a GP first††. We also offer our Family Mental HealthLine.
0808 256 1766^
^Calls may be recorded and to maintain the quality of our service we may monitor some of our calls, always respecting the confidentiality of the call.
I’m not a Bupa customer, but I’d like to find out more about health insurance
If you’re looking for mental health support as part of a broader health insurance policy, we can look after you and your family.
* Teens Minds: Living Through a Pandemic and Beyond
Bupa-commissioned report by PCP Research, surveying 1,000 UK teenagers aged 13-19, and 1,000 of their parents, between 22 October and 3 November 2020.
†As of September 2020, this analysis is based on an internally conducted review of the consumer, SME and Corporate health insurance markets using publicly available information from the major insurers in the UK consumer health insurance market. Combined, Bupa, AXA PPP, Aviva, Cigna and Vitality hold approximately 90-93% of the Gross Written Premium income of UK Private Medical Insurance providers. Refers to standard mental health cover when this is included in the selected health insurance or health trust product. We acknowledge that schemes can have bespoke benefits.
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††Direct Access telephone services are available as long as the symptoms are covered under the policy. If your cover excludes conditions you had before your policy started, we’ll ask you to provide evidence from your GP that your symptoms are not pre-existing for a period of up to two years from policy start date (or up to five years in the case of mental health). We can then refer you to a consultant or therapist through the Direct Access service. Always call us first to check your eligibility.
Bupa health insurance is provided by Bupa Insurance Limited. Registered in England and Wales No. 3956433. Bupa Insurance Limited is authorised by the Prudential Regulation Authority and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority and the Prudential Regulation Authority. Arranged and administered by Bupa Insurance Services Limited, which is authorised by the Financial Conduct Authority. Registered in England and Wales No. 3829851. Registered office: 1 Angel Court, London EC2R 7HZ.
Bupa health trusts are administered by Bupa Insurance Services Limited. Registered in England and Wales No. 3829851. Registered office: 1 Angel Court, London EC2R 7HJ
