Ten ways to help someone with anxiety
If someone you know often struggles to sleep, worries a lot, or is easily overwhelmed, they might have anxiety. Anxiety is common and can affect people of all ages. It can be hard to know how to help someone with a mental health condition. Here are some things they probably wish they could tell you about their anxiety, and how you can help.
1. Understand that anxiety can be hard to control
Being anxious can be exhausting and can make it hard for people to focus on anything other than how they’re feeling. People with anxiety can have physical and mental symptoms which can make daily life a challenge. So, understanding this can help you to offer the support they may need.
2. Support them with social situations
Having anxiety can make it more difficult to socialise. This can be because of social anxiety, or because they find it difficult to be out in crowded places. When someone is experiencing a sudden(acute) episode of anxiety, they might be worried about the visible symptoms this can cause – such as sweating or shaking. It may help if you offer to go with them to new social events or meet up on a 1-2-1 basis.
3. Do relaxing activities together
A person with anxiety may be exhausted and always seem tired. You might not understand why. But even though they aren’t doing a physical workout, their mind can be very active, which is tiring, and can cause physical symptoms. Depending on your relationship, you could suggest doing a relaxing activity together, such as yoga, or swimming, which may help to reduce their symptoms.
4. Be aware of their anxiety triggers
Different situations and environments can bring on anxiety. Public places, social situations, work events and even using a public toilet can be very anxiety-inducing for some people. If someone has social anxiety, they might be worried that people are going to laugh at them, or that they will say or do something embarrassing. They will probably be worrying about it before, during and after the event. Reassuring them that you can’t notice any visible signs of anxiety can help them to relax.
5. Be patient
Anxiety can come out in a variety of ways. The person you know might be irritable with you or overreact to things they wouldn’t normally react to, such as being startled or surprised. Try not to take it personally and be patient with them.
6. Offer support
Ask them what they need. It’s important to let them know that you’re there to support them, and they can ask you for help without being scared to do so.
7. Avoid saying “stop worrying”
People with anxiety are often aware that they’re worrying too much, that they need to try and calm down, or that they are overreacting. But telling them this won’t help. They already know it and if they could do it, they would.
8. Accept that they might cancel plans
If a person with anxiety doesn’t want to do something, it might be because they are really struggling with their anxiety. Don’t try to persuade them to change their mind or force them into situations, as this can make them feel worse.
9. Don’t give up on them
Don’t disappear. If they are a friend keep up the invitations – even if they continually decline or accept and then cancel later. Suggest something that will involve just the two of you. Some days are better than others and they will feel better for being included.
10. Think about how you would like to be helped
If someone with anxiety tells you they are feeling anxious, be aware that they might not know why, or be able to explain. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help. But also accept their answer if they can’t tell you what’s worrying them in that moment. Instead try and empathise with them. Think about how you would like to be helped in a situation when you’ve felt upset or anxious.
The best thing you can do to help those affected with anxiety is to learn about, and understand, what they’re experiencing. Be patient and kind, and don’t give up on them – they need you. Encourage them to seek help from a medical professional, such as a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) therapist, who can help them manage their symptoms.
If you’re worried about your mental health, our direct access service aims to provide you with the advice, support and treatment you need as quickly as possible. You’ll be able to get mental health advice and support usually without the need for a GP referral. Learn more today.
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- Anxiety and panic attacks: How can I help myself? MIND. mind.org.uk, reviewed February 2022
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- Toilet anxiety: fear of using public toilets. Anxiety.org. anxiety.org, accessed 6 March 2023
- Social anxiety disorder. Patient. patient.info, last accessed 6 March 2023
- Anxiety and panic attacks: How can other people help?MIND. mind.org.uk, published February 2021
- Generalized anxiety disorder. NICE Clinical Knowledge Summaries. cks.nice.org.uk, last revised February 2021
- How common are mental health problems? MIND. www.mind.org, accessed 6 March 2023
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