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Be kind… to yourself: 10 top tips
Being kind to others often comes naturally but being kind to ourselves may not. So with that in mind, here are 10 ways to show yourself some kindness – this week and beyond.
(gentle music)
- Talk to yourself like you would
somebody you really care about.
Similarly, turn that to look into yourself
and speak to yourself
in the way you would speak to others.
The practice of gratitude.
We often find that people who are thankful
for things around them are much happier
and have a greater sense of wellbeing overall.
Simply on waking up,
think about two or three things
that you are really grateful that day.
And by practicing gratitude regularly,
you'll often find that in the long term
your wellbeing and sense of hopefulness increases too.
Performing acts of kindness during the day to help others.
It may be as simple as opening a door for somebody,
letting somebody go in front of you in a supermarket queue,
maybe even giving you some of your loose change.
It can be a very small gesture,
but quite often performing an act of kindness
can make you feel really good
and boost your own wellbeing.
The daily reflection.
Every day, try and make some time for yourself.
By taking some time to reflect,
we often find that people are able to process
what is going on around them much better
and the longterm.
This can lead to a greater sense of wellbeing and calm.
To consider your self-care routines and rituals.
These will include simple things
like having breakfast every morning,
carving out time in your day to have lunch,
but also more global things
such as making sure you eat a healthy and balanced diet,
making sure you make regular time for physical activity
and also making time for things you enjoy.
Kindness to yourself
also comes with a sense of responsibility too.
Some people will often think
it's been a really busy and hard day at work
and so I'm gonna have an extra drink of alcohol
or an extra few squares
of the chocolate bar to treat myself.
And while the occasional treats
and rewards can be uplifting,
remember overall regularly overindulgent
can actually sabotage all the efforts you have made
to look after yourself.
And so remember with self-compassion
also comes self-respect and also self-control.
Consider making time for activities
that are in line with what really interests you.
If you have a creative streak,
make time for your creative outlet.
If you have a need to be outdoors
and take part in physical activities such as sports,
make time for these too.
Consider investing some time
in mindfulness as a practice
to bring about overall calm and wellbeing.
Mindfulness is a way of thinking
and rooting your thinking in the current or in the present.
You can mindfully eat a meal.
You can mindfully brush your teeth.
You may even mindfully choose to go for a walk.
And what mindfulness encourages you to do
is focus on the here and now.
I would encourage you to consider some time with nature.
This may be as simple as walking through a park,
walking by the river.
We know that being with nature
and particularly being free of an urban environment
can really help people focus on their wellbeing.
We are currently in the throes of a global pandemic.
This is understandably a time
incurring much anxiety and stress for many people.
And so what I would encourage you to do,
is think of this also as a time
where there are opportunities to pause, reflect,
and possibly even reset as well.
(soft music)
Why kindness matters
Research shows that kindness to ourselves:
- strengthens our sense of self – our identity
- boosts our self esteem
- helps with our confidence
- improves our sense of optimism
- helps us cope better with stress
- improves resilience – our ability to bounce back after a setback
10 top tips
1. Talk kindly to yourself
Think about how you speak to the people you love and care about, and then turn that voice on yourself. Be conscious about your inner voice – let it be a friend to you or one that is kind to you, rather than one that is harsh or belittles you. This can help you pick yourself up if things go wrong and help you cope better.
2. Practise gratitude
We often find that people who practise gratitude and notice the things they are thankful for are happier and have a greater sense of wellbeing. You might want to try and think of a few things in the morning or before you got to bed. You could tell someone in your household or write them down. Actively focus on the positives of your day. Reframing situations and looking for the positives can help strengthen your resilience.
3. Perform acts of kindness to others
Be kind to others. Small gestures have a big impact – whether it’s smiling at someone or letting someone go in front of you in a queue, for example. Doing good for others boosts your own wellbeing and at the same time helps brighten someone else’s day.
4. Reflect daily
Make time every day to give yourself some space to reflect on what’s going on for you and how you are feeling. A few minutes to sit and think or write in a journal can help you process your thoughts and feelings and cope better.
5. Self-care
Keeping healthy routines and rituals are an important way to look after yourself. These might be things like having breakfast, carving out some time for yourself in the day, planning what you eat and performing exercise, and doing some things you enjoy.
6. Be responsible for yourself
If a stressful or busy day tempts you to treat yourself (with alcohol or junk food for example) – think about whether this is a healthy move to make or not. A treat now and then is fine but recognise not to use it as a crutch, as it can sabotage all the efforts you’ve made to look after yourself. Self-compassion comes with self-respect, not self-sabotage.
7. Invest in your interests
Do things that really align with your interests and passions. If you have a creative streak, make time for a creative outlet or if you like being outdoors or doing sport – make time for these too. These are the things that can often get pushed off your priority list, but it’s important that you don’t compromise them.
8. Practise mindfulness
Mindfulness is a way of thinking – focusing on the here and now. It encourages you to pay attention to the present moment. This can help reduce thinking too far ahead (and worrying about things that haven’t happened yet), or thinking about the past (and dwelling on things you cannot change). You can mindfully do almost anything – eat a meal, brush your teeth, or choosing to go for a walk mindfully.
9. Spend time in or around nature
Being around elements of the natural world can be calming and improve your sense of wellbeing. Consider how you can make time to be with elements of the outdoors and natural world. This could be greenery such as your garden, a walk in the park, and green spaces around you. It could also be water, such as a stroll by a canal, lake, or river, or better still a beach or parts of the coast if these are nearby.
10. Think of the opportunities
We’re currently in the middle of a global pandemic, which is understandably a cause of worry and stress. It may help to counter these feelings if you can consider this a unique time of opportunity too. We can reframe our perception of this time as a chance to pause, reflect and reset. Think about the things you didn’t enjoy in your life before, and what you may want to keep or change going forward.
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Sources
- Kindness and mental health. Mental Health Foundation. www.mentalhealth.org.uk, published 29 April 2020
- Longe O, Maratos FA, Gilbert P, et al. Having a word with yourself: neural correlates of self-criticism and self-reassurance. Neuroimage 2010; 49:1849–56. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2009.09.019
- Wu G, Cohen H, Kim J, et al. Understanding resilience. Front Behav Neurosci 2013; 7:10. doi:10.3389/fnbeh.2013.00010
- Cunha LF. Pellanda LC, Reppold CT. Positive psychology and gratitude interventions: a randomized clinical trial. Front Psychol 2019. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584
- Five ways to mental wellbeing. Government Office for Science. GOV UK. www.gov.uk, published 22 October 2008
- How to look after your mental health. Mental Health Foundation. www.mentalhealth.org.uk accessed 6 May 2020
- How to look after your mental health with mindfulness. Mental Health Foundation. www.mentalhealth.org.uk, accessed 6 May 2020
- Links between natural environments and mental health: evidence briefing (EIN018). Natural England. publications.naturalengland.org.uk, published 14 July 2016
- Nature and mental health. Mind. www.mind.org.uk, published May 2018
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