How to find social connection without alcohol
Many of us rely on alcohol to help us connect with others. You might want to reduce, or stop drinking, but still have a meaningful and fulfilling social life. Here I’ll share my top tips for connecting socially while sober.
Why is alcohol connected to socialising?
In the UK, drinking can be a large part of our culture. A wide range of social occasions can involve drinking alcohol. These include:
- work events
- parties
- weddings
- seasonal celebrations, such as Christmas
You may find that alcohol helps you to relax during social situations. 1 in 3 of us believe that drinking positively impacts our social life and relationships.But being sober doesn’t mean you can’t connect to others.
How can I connect to others without alcohol?
There are many ways to connect to others without alcohol. Below are some tips to get you started.
Explore new social situations
If your usual social events involve meeting in the pub, or going for dinner and drinks, it may be tricky to avoid alcohol. It can help to find new places, groups, and events where drinking isn’t the main focus.
For example, you could try the following.
- Take part in morning or daytime activities – these are less likely to involve alcohol.
- Try joining groups and activities such as book clubs, yoga classes, or work out sessions.
- If you’re meeting friends, why not try a board game café, art exhibition, or new brunch venue?
Do something you enjoy
Doing activities you love can help you to connect with people who share your interests. Search online for meet up groups – or start your own. Volunteering can also be a good way to meet others, whether it’s at a local food bank, or an animal sanctuary. Many volunteering opportunities include social activities to bring its volunteers together. So, see what is on offer in your local area.
Find other sober people
Finding people who are also sober, or sober curious, can allow you to share your experiences, gain tips, and stick to your goals. You could try finding:
- sobriety groups
- sober events such as morning raves
- sober apps or work societies
Some examples include Sober Girl Society, I am Sober app, and the Club Soda tasting room.
"Previously having fun was quite literally eating and drinking, whereas now I tend to look for an activity. So, we tried different things this year, like going bowling, shuffleboard, playing bowls." – Marie Smith, Sales Team Manager at Bupa.
How can I deal with social anxiety?
It might be that you drink during social situations due to social anxiety. Which is very understandable. But alcohol can affect your senses and make it hard to listen and remember things.
Focusing on the other person, and staying in the moment, can reduce anxiety and help you form better connections.
Here’s my advice for staying in the moment.
- Ask questions to get to know others better.
- Actively listen to people. Stay engaged and try to remember details about them.
- Focus on the activity you’re doing, or the food you’re eating.
- Try mindfulness techniques to help you stay present.
Here are some helpful websites and sources for further reading.
- Drinkaware is the UK’s leading alcohol charity. They provide advice, information and tools to help people make better choices about their drinking.
- Alcohol Change UK is another UK charity aiming to reduce alcohol-related harm. They offer interactive tools, help and support, and facts around alcohol.
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Sources Sources
- Consumer research survey on sober curiosity. Bupa, Team Spirit, and Censuswide. February 2025
- What if my friends don’t like me sober? Alcohol Change UK. alcoholchange.org.uk, published January 2023
- How to Make Friends Without Drinking. Impossibrew. impossibrew.co.uk, accessed February 2025
- Why sober friends are a game-changer. Alcohol Change UK. alcoholchange.org.uk, published March 2019
- Tips for enjoying a social life without alcohol. Alcohol Change UK. alcoholchange.org.uk, published January 2023
- Finding your people. Alcohol Change UK. alcoholchange.org.uk, published April 2022
- How Alcohol Impacts the Brain. Northwestern Medicine. Healthbeat. nm.org, updated November 2023
- Stepping Out of Social Anxiety. The Role of Attention. Centre for Clinical Interventions. cci.health.wa.gov.au, accessed February 2025
- How to look after your mental health using mindfulness. Mental Health Foundation. mentalhealth.org.uk, accessed September 2024
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