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Too embarrassed to go to the doctor?
Have you ever felt embarrassment when visiting the doctor? You're not alone. In fact, many people feel uneasy about discussing their health concerns or undergoing certain medical procedures. But remember that doctors have seen it all and there’s no need for you to feel embarrassed.
In this article, I will explore ways to help you feel more confident and at ease when visiting the doctor.
Why do people not go to the GP?
There are certain aspects of our health that people often feel embarrassed to talk about. These include health concerns related to bowel habits, reproductive health, sexual health, and bladder problems.
But you should always talk to a GP if you have any symptoms that are worrying. These might be:
- an ongoing change in bowel habits
- blood in your poo
- bleeding between periods
- bleeding after sex
- trouble with erections
- post menopausal bleeding
- any unusual rashes, swellings, or lumps on your body
- problems with your genitals such as pain or unusual discharge
Age may be one of the factors affecting people’s decision to visit the doctor. For example, younger people may feel less likely to go to a doctor and instead look online.
For older people, issues such as incontinence may be an embarrassing problem to talk about – making people reluctant to speak up. But we should go to the doctor no matter what our age or health problem is.
You should also try to attend any screening programmes for cancer, even if you don’t have any symptoms. Below are the three main NHS screening programmes.
- Cervical cancer screening – where a sample of cells are taken from your cervix and tested for HPV. This is also called a smear test. If you’re a woman aged between 25 and 64 and registered with a GP, you’ll be invited for screening every three or five years.
- Breast screening – where X-rays of your breast are taken to check for possible signs of breast cancer. This screening is test called a mammogram. This is offered to women over the age of 50 up to their 71st birthday.
- Bowel cancer screening – this is done at home, and you use a self-testing kit to send your poo to a hospital to check to see if there’s blood in your poo that you can’t see. This screening is offered to people aged 60 to 74 in England every two years.
Attending screening can help to diagnose cancer earlier so that you can get the treatment you need.
What percentage of people don’t go to the doctor?
Feeling embarrassed or nervous about going to the doctor is common, and around a quarter of people may delay going to the doctor. Lots of people are hesitant to visit the doctor and instead look up symptoms on the internet and may self-diagnose themselves. But, only a doctor has the training and expertise to give you a medical diagnosis.
It’s also best to go to the doctor as soon as possible so that any conditions can be detected early. And, if a doctor finds nothing serious, this can put your mind at ease.
How do I stop being embarrassed to go to the doctor?
Here are some tips that might help you to feel less embarrassed about speaking to a doctor.
Tell your doctor you’re embarrassed
If you let your doctor know that you’re embarrassed, they won’t judge you, and will also make extra effort to make sure you feel comfortable.
Write your symptoms down
You can write down what problem you have with your health and hand it to your doctor. That way they can help with whatever is going on if you feel uncomfortable telling them directly.
Everything is confidential
Remember that anything you talk about with your doctor is not shared with anyone, including your family, friends or other patients.
Ask for a specific doctor
You may find it helpful to ask for a specific doctor, for example someone you're familiar with in your practice. Or you might want to ask for a male or female doctor.
Bring someone with you
You may want to bring someone with you to your appointment for support, such as a friend or family member that you trust.
Don’t be alarmed about questions from your doctor
When you talk to a doctor, they may ask you certain questions around your symptoms. But don’t be alarmed, this is purely so they can help you get the best outcome for your enquiry. And feel free to ask why a doctor is asking a certain question, they will be happy to explain to you.
Use your own words
Feel free to use language that you are comfortable with. Doctors don't expect you to know the medical words for things, or a name for your diagnosis. That's their job to find that out for you.
If there’s anything about your health that’s worrying you, the best thing to do is make an appointment with your GP.
What should I do if I'm embarrassed to talk to my doctor?
Seeing a doctor when you're embarrassed | Watch in 2:08 minutes
Dr Naveen Puri talks about how to make it easier to see a doctor about a health issue when you are feeling embarrassed.
Hello, I am Dr Naveen Puri, I am one of the GPs within Bupa Health Clinics.
Today I want to speak to you about embarrassing problems you might have and what we can do if you attend one of our clinics.
I want you to know that many people feel embarrassed or concerned about speaking about certain things with their doctors, but I'm here to reassure you these are the kinds of things we deal with every day.
For me, looking at someone's bottom or their breasts or their genitalia is no different to looking at their nose or elbow.
And that's true for all doctors as we train for many years in these parts of the body and are very used to having these conversations with people just like you.
So what I would encourage you to do if you have any concerns from your perspective, be it a change in your bowel habit, be it a lump, a rash, a swelling. Something on your genitalia or a part of your body you're not particularly familiar with or feel uncomfortable discussing.
Please be assured your doctor has done it all before.
Some of the ways we find patients find it easier to speak to a doctor is to either tell the doctor you feel embarrassed up front. That way a doctor can make extra effort to make sure you feel comfortable.
Or some patients come to us with pieces of paper and will write the problem down and hand it to us. That way we can help with whatever is going on for you as well.
You may also find it helpful to ask for a specific doctor, someone you're familiar with in your practice. Or you might want to ask for a doctor of a specific gender, or background to your liking as well.
I'd also say, doctors do this every day so don't be alarmed if we ask you certain questions around your symptoms. It is purely so we can help you get the best outcome for your enquiry.
And then finally, feel free to use language that suits you as well. We don't expect you to know the medical words for things, or a name for your diagnosis. That's our job to find out for you.
So, take your time, see a doctor, and hopefully we can help put your mind at ease.
Do you know how healthy you truly are? Bupa health assessments give you a clear overview of your health and a view of any future health risks. You'll receive a personal lifestyle action plan with health goals to reach for a happier, healthier you.
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Sources Sources
- Check for Change. Essity. essity.com, accessed December 2023
- Jarbøl DE, Haastrup PF, Rasmussen S, Søndergaaard J, Balasubramaniam K. Women's barriers for contacting their general practitioner when bothered by urinary incontinence: a population-based cross-sectional study. BMC Urol. 2021;21(1):99. Published 2021 Jul 12. doi:10.1186/s12894-021-00864-x
- Rasmussen S, Balasubramaniam K, Jarbøl DE, Søndergaard J, Haastrup PF. Socioeconomic status and barriers for contacting the general practitioner when bothered by erectile dysfunction: a population-based cross-sectional study. BMC Fam Pract. 2020;21(1):166. Published 2020 Aug 16. doi:10.1186/s12875-020-01238-2
- Break stigma on incontinence and create shared value. Essity. essity.com, accessed December 2023
- Cervical screening: programme overview. Public Health England. gov.uk, last updated March 2021
- Breast screening: programme overview. Public Health England. gov.uk, last updated June 2023
- Bowel cancer screening: programme overview. Public Health England. gov.uk, last updated March 2021
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