Support and advice

If you’re caring for a loved one with dementia you will know how reassuring familiar surroundings and routines can be. People living with dementia often respond well to routines, as they can help give a sense of meaning and security. This could be anything from eating at a certain time or doing chores such as putting the bins out or washing clothes.

If your loved one wishes to remain in their own home, there can be safety concerns. People with dementia may forget to lock or close doors or lock themselves in if they feel frightened. You may wish to take steps to ensure they are safe, such as giving a spare set of keys to a trusted neighbour, switching from gas to electric cookers and installing smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.

In the early stages of dementia your loved one may struggle to find the right words to communicate. This can be distressing as the condition progresses, as they may forget names of those close to them or struggle to remember what they’ve said. Although it can be frustrating, it is important to remain calm and answer each question in a reassuring and respectful manner. It can also help to make sure you're in an environment with minimal noise and without too many distractions (e.g. no radio or TV on in the background). As it may take longer for the person with dementia to process the information they hear, it's important to give them plenty of time to respond and remember things. Responding with a positive tone of voice, body language and facial expressions is key.

Most people are used to taking pride in how they look. Ensuring your loved one still gets to choose what they wear can help them keep a sense of identity and dignity. You can also make it easier by leaving enough time for them to get dressed, laying clothes out in the order they should be put on and modifying clothes with Velcro or elastic so they’re easier to put on.

It’s important to talk to your loved one to find out their feelings on the matter; after all they’ve been looking after themselves since they were a child. Needing help with washing and bathing may be embarrassing for your loved one, so try to allow as much privacy as possible. Try to establish what they can still do for themselves, so they can prolong their independence for as long as possible.

Continence problems can be very distressing for an individual, as it can make them feel like they’re losing control of their dignity. It can be difficult to accept they need help with such an intimate area. In some cases the person may have forgotten where the toilet is, especially if they’re somewhere unfamiliar. Regularly reminding your loved one to go to the toilet can help develop a routine, as well as making the toilet easier to access. It’s a good idea to talk things through with a health professional. This could be the GP, a community nurse or another healthcare professional.