Men’s mental health
We can help you find your way
Join our road trip to better men’s mental health and find out how to get support if you need it.
Need a lift? Let’s lighten the load
Men often struggle to ask for help with what’s bothering them. That’s why Martin Kemp is hitting the road with three guests to get them to open up about their mental health. Join them as they discover how common things like sexual function, being a dad and looking after an older relative can affect us, and how to ask for help if you need it. It all starts with a lift.
I could feel my body go hmmmmmmm.
Hi, I’m Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so, I’m taking them on a drive.
Right so sexual function and mental health, let’s talk about it.
Let’s do it, let’s do it.
So I want to talk to you about caring for an elderly relative and how that might affect the carer’s mental health.
I want to talk about how a dad's mental health can be affected by the mental health of his children, especially teenage sons.
Just be very open and honest with your children.
I think that's the hardest thing to do, is kind of admit that you're not mentally okay.
I felt like I was so alone and so isolated and it’s a really horrible feeling.
I need to take care of my physical health and my mental health so that I can take care of my teenage son.
It's one of the hardest but one of the best decisions we made for my mum and for, for my own health.
So basically, we need to talk to our mates more about getting it up!
Hahaha, yes.
You need a lift?
Jump in and listen
Sexual function and mental health
What is sexual dysfuction?
Martin chats to Mesha Moinirad about sexual dysfunction and the link between physical and mental health.
I could feel my body go hmmmmmmm Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa, I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so I'm taking them on a drive.
Need a lift?
Right so sexual function and mental health, let's talk about it, let's do it, let's do it.
Sexual dysfunction, what do you think that is?
Libido?
Yeah.
Erectile dysfunction?
What else would you say?
Er, premature ejaculation...
and all of that must affect your mental health, right?
Ah, definitely linked even saying those things out loud almost hold a bit of embarrassment.
I don't know what it is.
I felt that as well...
I could feel my body go hmmmmmmm.
Yeah, it's a funny conversation but such an important thing to talk about because so many men experience it.
Yeah.
Did you know that 1 in 5 men experience sexual function problems in their life?
The numbers could potentially even be higher if more people spoke about it, right?
Yeah.
I'm sure there's a lot of men out there that have no one to talk to.
Well that's why a lot of men talk about a feeling of isolation isn't it, and isolation, what that really means is you haven't got anyone that you can share those problems with.
Yeah, completely.
Do you think sexual dysfunction can cause mental health issues and also vice versa?
Completely, I think there's a massive correlation between a physical thing that you're experiencing and your mental health.
Everything connects, doesn't it, everything connects to your mental health.
Once something like this occurs, you're stuck on a loop and you don't know how to get out of it.
So basically, we need to talk to our mates more about getting it up?
Yes!
Experiencing sexual dysfunction
Mesha tells us how problems with sexual function affected his life made him feel isolated - until he decided to speak to someone.
Erectile dysfunction...
I've got the t shirt.
Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so, I'm taking them on a drive.
Need a lift?
So tell me your story.
So I have what's known as Crohn's disease, I've now got a stoma.
Stuff like erectile dysfunction, or poor libido and all these embarrassing subjects, I've got the t shirt.
When you were suffering from sexual dysfunction yourself, did that affect other parts of your life?
Literally it took over everything.
At work I was trying to do my job but my mind was elsewhere.
A lot of the conversation for me as well was around it could impact your fertility, and these are worrying conversations when you're a young bloke in your early 20s, you know I want to have a family, I want to be able to have sex.
If men are told they have fertility issues, right, that can affect sexual function as well, can’t it, so it's the whole thing is a vicious cycle.
And if you don't know how to have the conversations to get out of that, you're stuck.
Yeah.
What sort of toll did that take on your mental health?
I felt like I was so alone and so isolated and it's a really horrible feeling, and I was really depressed, and I remember I'd sit at my mum's, and I'd just cry.
When I did find the right professional to speak to, it alleviated a lot of these problems and effectively it gave my life back.
So, if you're going to give, a man who's going through sexual function problems, right, what advice would you give them?
Have these conversations, don't just keep it to yourself, go and see a medical professional.
Young people’s mental health
Helping your children’s mental health
Mark Ormrod MBE shares what it’s like to help your child through a difficult time and why you don’t have to do it alone.
I'm acutely aware I need to take care of my mental health so that I can take care of my teenage son.
Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so, I'm taking them on a drive.
Need a lift?
I want to talk about how a dad's mental health can be affected by the mental health of his children, especially teenage sons.
As a father of a teenage boy myself.
I can absolutely talk about that.
Do you think there's a connection between the mental health of a teenager and the mental health of a parent?
Absolutely.
Because they’re your children.
You care for them and you love them, and you want the best for them.
And if they're suffering, we're suffering.
That is why I always think no matter what you're going through with your kids, with their mental health, you have to find your own space.
I'm acutely aware that I need to take care of my physical health and my mental health so that I can take care of my teenage son.
Teenage boys are going through a pivotal time in their life.
start in young men before they’re 24.
There is a serious issue, isn't there, with young men and the relation to suicide.
That's why conversations are so important.
Yeah.
And we just need to make them a normal, regular part of daily life.
Letting young men know that it's okay to talk.
Looking after yourself as a dad
Mark and Martin discuss how looking after your own physical and mental health can help you care for your children.
Thought I was a man, thought I was a tough guy, I was terrified, and every night all I wanted to do was go back home Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, about their mental health challenges, so, I'm taking them on a drive.
Need a lift?
How does it make you feel seeing your kids going through a hard time?
Does it take a toll on yourself?
Oh, God.
Yeah.
It's probably one of the worst feelings ever.
My son is just about to turn 13.
And it feels like you're helpless.
And you wanna you wanna to take that pain and that challenge away from them.
But you can't.
And having gone through that myself and feeling that pain and understanding that it's not something that I want my son to go through You know, I remember leaving home for the first time on my own at 17.
Thought I was a man, thought I was a tough guy, I was terrified, and every night all I wanted to do was go back home.
Have you ever gone to professional help?
My son loves football.
I could potentially teach him a little bit about football, but if he wants to be great, he needs to be a professional coach.
Exactly.
Same with mental health.
What advice would you give to dads looking after their teenage son’s mental health?
I'd let them know that there is no manual, but just be very open and honest with your children.
Let them know that you can talk to, yeah, they can talk to you about anything and then we can figure it out together as a team and as a family.
Yeah.
Listen, pal, we're on the same page.
Becoming a carer
How being a carer can affect mental health
Graeme Sutherland’s mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 59. He shares how his life, and mental health, has been impacted.
I think that's the hardest thing to do, is kind of admit that you're not mentally okay.
Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so, I'm taking them on a drive.
You need a lift?
So I want to talk to you about caring for an elderly relative and how that might affect the carer’s mental health.
What's your family set up?
So my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 59.
She was at home for seven years.
And now she's been in a care home for nearly three years.
What sort of toll did it take on your mental health?
You feel very alone a lot the time, really isolated because your friends are all out enjoying life and getting on with life and you're at home caring for your mum.
I had to take some time off work.
Because I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was just it really affected me badly.
So I decided to seek help.
I think that's the hardest thing to do, is kind of admit that you're not mentally okay.
When you put your mum into the care home, how did that make you feel?
So guilt’s the biggest thing it's gave me peace of mind.
Yeah.
A huge weight off my shoulders and I've got a bit of my life back again.
Do you think that makes her happier?
I can spend quality time with her now as opposed to being stressed.
And from doing that she's then getting a better visit from me.
So what advice have you got for a guy who is taking on caring responsibilities, and it's taking a toll on his mental health?
Be very open about it, because you'll be surprised at how many people are in the same boat.
Share, a problem shared.
Share a problem.
Yeah.
How care homes can help
Graeme tells Martin how finding the right care home for his mum helped improve both their mental health.
If I had known what the care homes did for both my mental health and my mum's, it’s something I would’ve looked at a lot earlier.
Hi, I'm Martin Kemp, and with the help of Bupa I want to encourage men to open up about their mental health challenges, so, I'm taking them on a drive.
You need a lift?
How did your mum's mental health improve after going to the care home?
Before she was in the care home, she was upset a lot.
But when she was in the care home, she settled quite quickly, was a lot happier, enjoying having that social side of things definitely improved her mental health.
You know, as men get older, they become more isolated.
So going into a care home can actually improve social isolation.
Can’t it?
They can play games with each other and have dinner together and they all mingle, they have family parties there, or they have little pantos around the festive period.
I think that helps deal with the the loneliness and isolation they've got a companion almost again.
Would you advise someone who's got caring responsibilities to go to, to look into care homes sooner rather than later?
Yeah, if I had known what the care home did for both my mental health and my mum's, it’s something I would have looked at a lot earlier.
It’s one of the hardest but one of the best decisions we made for my mum and for, for my own health.
When you speak to your mum, tell her I sent my love.
Oh yeah she’ll love that.
Well we used to watch you on Eastenders back in the day.
Oh Eastenders did she?
The car crash, yeah.
Understanding mental health
Knowing what affects our mental wellbeing can make it easier to share and ask for help.
Talking about men’s mental health
How to start the conversation about your own mental health and encourage other men to do the same.
How does loneliness affect health and wellbeing?
Find out how feeling lonely can be linked to poor mental health, and how it might impact physical health too.
Types of addiction and getting support
Advice for common addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling, and how to get support for you or someone you know.
How alcohol affects your mental health
Understand how alcohol affects our brains and get tips for cutting down or finding healthier ways to relax.
Practical ways to manage stress
The stress bucket exercise
Use our stress bucket guide to identify your stressors, reflect on your coping strategies, and practice mindfulness.
One month of mindfulness
Practicing mindfulness regularly can reduce stress. Use our calendar for daily prompts to be more mindful for a whole month.
Calming breathing exercises
Trying these four breathing exercises for just a few minutes each day can help reduce stress and anxiety.
10 tips for managing stress
Tips for creating healthy habits that can help you manage and reduce your stress.
How Bupa can help you and your family
Men’s Sexual Function Plan
Overcome sexual dysfunction with a 12-month plan that addresses the root causes. Available in-person or remotely.
Family health insurance
Look after your family and cover all your children for the price of one, with Bupa health insurance.
Got a question about care homes?
Pick up the phone and give us a call. We are here to guide you through the process as we know how stressful it can be.
0330 818 6963^
Anytime HealthLine
If you are are Bupa health insurance customer, you have unlimited access to GPs and nurses for any health concerns. Call the Anytime HealthLine 24/7.
0345 601 3216
Need help now?
Urgent help
For urgent advice, call 111 and and select the mental health option.
If your or someone else’s life is at risk, you should call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
Free listening service
Text ‘shout’ to 85258 for get free, confidential text messaging support from Shout. Available 24/7.
Call 116 123 to speak to someone on the Samaritans helpline.
Mind
Mind’s get help now tool is designed to help you understand what’s happening to you and how you can help yourself.
Mental Health Foundation
The Mental Health Foundation provides free resources for protecting and improving your mental health.
^ Lines are open 8am to 6.30pm Monday to Friday, 9am to 12.30pm Saturday. Closed Sundays and bank holidays. Calls are charged at no more than local rate and count towards any inclusive minutes from mobiles. We may record or monitor our calls.
